“BLUES” EL-DEE-THREE STYLE
This Flight Commander of the training Squadron is an old hand in the Marut Fleet. He has been in the fleet from Poona to Jamnagar to Jodhpur. He was the strong silent type and gave the impression of a Professor Emeritus.
One morning he has a slight cold and visits the Doc and after examination he is given a few pills called A P C and a slip with the dreaded words – L D 3, Excused Flying. This is akin to a death knell as it translates into ‘light duties for 3 days and no flying.
The officer gets the “BLUES” immediately and sort of goes into a depression.T he closer he gets to the FLIGHTS the deeper he sinks.
He drives past the dispersal and sees that not a single Marut is in sight. He alights from his car at the FLIGHTS and sure enough no Pilots are around either.
The Flights in this outfit was a long barracks with the First Room being that of the Flight Commander and the adjacent room being the Operations Room. There was a Judas Window between the rooms and this was for the specific purpose of pushing the Flight Commander’s telephone to the OPS room when he was out. This was most of the time as he was a Flying Hog. (Very different from a Wart Hog)
The next best function a Pilot is happy when not flying, is to shoot the breeze, but the Flight Commander cant do this either as he is all alone. He commences pacing the road and aimlessly admires the handy work of the squadron gardener. He wanders in to the Ops Room sits down and orders coffee and lights up his weed of choice “Wills Filter Cigarette”
The coffee makes him slip into melancholia and his eyes are out of focus and he elects to stare at the ceiling. He follows the antics of two flies on the ceiling and slips further into the BLUES.
Enter from stage left a Flying Officer who is sweating profusely and freezes on seeing the Flight Commander. He has just landed from a sortie.
He realizes that the Flight Commander has left his body in the chair and his mind is elsewhere. He slips in to the “Ops Officer’s chair and gets busy and does the famous trick of “look busy but take it easy”.
There are two telephones on the desk.
The Flight Commander still has not acknowledged the Flying Officer as he is on Cloud Nine due to no-flying depression.
The flight commander pulls a telephone closer, lifts the receiver and dials a three digit number.
The other telephone on the table commences ringing and the flying officer picks it up and smartly answers “Ops Officer Flying Officer R.Singh.”
The voice on the phone says “Fido this is ‘SIS’ what is the aircraft state?”
The reader has to now pause and take in the situation. The ops table is 4 feet in width and Fido is on one side and Sis on the other, Their eyes are locked and yet they continue to talk on the phone.
Fido: Sir the serviceability is 12 plus 1.
Sis: How goes the flying program?
Fido: Sir one aircraft is on TRS on the tarmac. The third detail will be landing shortly and one more detail is planned.
Sis: Which squadron has the ATC and the ACP duties?
Fido: Tiger squadron Sir.
Sis: Thank you.
Fido: Thank you and welcome sir.
Both put the receivers down.
Sis slips back onto Cloud Nine.
Fido immediately gets up and excuses himself saying he has to visit the washroom. He runs to the crew room which is empty and does two front flips followed by two back flips and rolls on the carpet laughing hysterically.
NC(E) Salwade sees this spectacle and runs to NC(E) Pillay to inform him that Flying Officer R.Singh is having some kind of a cardiac arrest. Pillay tells him not to panic as the Flight Commander is in the ops room comatose with a wicked grin on his face.
The question for the scientific lot of the Marut crew is this.
The officers were four feet apart.
Each had one ear on the telephone earpiece.
The other ear was free.
Which voice did their brains receive first. The one in the earpiece or the other one?
This is a true story and I am sure the flying HOGS who had to sit on the ground occasionally had some form of the BLUES. Maybe they care to elaborate?
© Copyright Sam Sekhar and Marutfans. All rights reserved. Reproduction or distribution of this article in any form without the express written permission of the author is prohibited.