Sam Sekhar’s KAHANIS FROM THE MARUT HANDI – VII

MYRA  BEHAN

Jodhpur not having good entertainment spots like Goa, the Marut crew made the best of the week ends with socializing and picnics. The pilots had their own cliques and accordingly formed mini groups. One such group being in Jodhpur for a long time made some friends with the civilian crowd. This group was very active and had great fun at all times.

One fine day MYRA BEHAN joined this group and was seen at every week end gathering enjoying the festivities.

Myra was in her twenties and had very fair skin.
She had blue eyes.
She had long lustrous, dark flowing hair.
God had blessed her with good numerology – 36-22-36.
She was always very well attired and her favourite outfits were chiffon sarees in all the light colors possible.
She was a good dancer.
Her walk was like poetry in motion.
She had a fabulous sense of humor and also the gift of the gab.
Tobah she wore hipsters.
Tobah,Tobah she smoked.
Triple Tobah she drank and could hold her own.
She was good clean fun.
She had ROYAL connections.
MYRA BEHAN had the power of “THE EFFECT” on men.

 The camels of Jodhpur (other Marut Pilots not from this group) soon learnt of this celebrity and were all keen to see her in person and would hint at an invitation to join their week-end gatherings.

 This group along with MYRA BEHAN visited the house of Cool Hand Luke one afternoon. Drinks were served and MYRA commenced her quick intake. The hostess on seeing MYRA BEHAN knocking back two in quick succession told her to take it easy as there was plenty of liquor around. MYRA BEHAN told the hostess not to worry as when she had three drinks she would be under the table. She further told the hostess that the time to worry was when she had four drinks as this would lead to her being under the Host. The hostess uttered “aaareee baba” and promptly fainted.

This group elected to have a picnic at Kailana Lake one Sunday and had just commenced the festivities when they were bounced in hoards by the full Marut Fleet. Good fun was being had by one and all and in due course of time some Marut Pilots jumped into Kailana Lake fully clothed.

 I now ask the reader to pause and take in this vision. MYRA BEHAN was wearing a gossamer thin white chiffon saree and a muslin white blouse. Soon she also jumped in. She splashed around for half an hour and emerged from the water.

 I leave it to the reader to imagine “The wet EFFECT” and the number of cardiac arrests. A strange factor called (POPPING EYE BALLS) occurred.

 The good wives of the Marut fleet surrounded her and whisked her home in one of the cars.

 One Marut pilot who was on deputation from All India Radio was on annual leave and on his return he heard about the PICNIC. His brother was visiting him at this time. He immediately contacted THE GROUP and pleaded to be invited for the next gathering. A few weeks passed and the All India Radio pilot came to know that The Group was having a get together the following Sunday at La Jees place. The A I R pilot and his brother donned their best attire and splashed copious amounts of OLD SPICE and started up the car. The good wife asked them where they were going and they replied in unison “To the officers mess to get some bread”. Soon they were on their way and as they were a couple of houses from La Jee’s residence the A I R pilot checks his rear view mirror and to his horror he sees his wife on the MOPED hair flying all over and doing the maximum speed of 20 kms per hour He takes off like a bat out of hell, proceeds to the Mess and loads up bread and heads home.

 The next day he comes to work with a black eye and said he ran into a door.

 A few weeks passed and there was a BASH at Umaid Bhavan Palace and there were a few invitees from the Marut Crowd. The party was in full swing soon and everyone was having a ball.

 Soon MYRA entered the Ball in a fashionable late entrance and boy what an entrance it was. She was resplendent in a blood red ensemble with enough gold embroidery and diamond jewelry. The HIPSTER was barely legal. In due course of time she had  reached her quota and was having a blast.

In walked a man of some royal descent and he was working in Bombay. It was believed that he was:

Current Husband
Separated Husband
Not interested Husband.
Kicked out Husband
Legally Divorced husband
Not legally divorced husband
Not talking to husband.
Nobody was sure what state this gentleman and MYRA were currently in.
The three reps from the Marut fleet were

Ed Koch
Bug Nyet
Sir Dash.

MYRA soon gets a glint in her eye and comes over and grabs Ed Koch by the hand. She leads him around the Ball Room and introduces him to the Royal crowd. She does so in Rajasthani and so Ed Koch has no clue as to what she is saying. He keeps grinning away in a diplomatic smile. He soon realizes that he is getting HOSTILE looks and the temperature in the room is rising.

 In a flash like in the Fairy Tale the Grand Old Dame of Jodhpur “ Bhai Jee” grabs Ed Koch and whispers in his ear that the time is close to midnight.

What she actually says is that MYRA has been introducing him around to all and sundry that he is her fiancée and they are soon to be married. This remark has not been well taken by the Royal crowd and they are rounding up a lynching party.”Bhai Jee “ tells Ed Koch and the other two to make like Houdini and vanish in to thin air.

 The three make a dash to their carriage. A four cylinder Fiat belonging to Ed Koch.

 Loud voices are heard in the background “CLOSE THE GATES- CLOSE THE GATES “.

 For those of us familiar with the Palace Gates you will remember that these Gates were built of pure Wrought Iron about a few hundred years ago and were meant to keep the invaders out in them old, old days.

 The gate keepers come out of their slumber, do not reason why and jump to the order with a ” Jee HUKUM” and start rocking the gates to get them loose from their rigid position due to being kept open for years. Soon the gates start moving slowly an inch at a time.

 There is great pandemonium in the Palace and crowds are pouring out of the doors. Many are armed with daggers and swords and some are twirling ropes fashioned into a noose. Soon a bookie emerges and he opens a booth and the odds he is offering are 10 to 1 that Ed Koch will not make it out of the gates. The royal crowd is soon laying bets.

Objects start raining on Ed Koch’s carriage and are bouncing off the metal.

The three brave fully ops pilots get in to the front seat of the Fiat. The windows on the carriage were kept open due to the warmth of the evening.

 Ed Koch has his famous grin which is quite unique as we all know and is cool as a cucumber. Bug Nyet is laughing hysterically and keeps saying “Go Ed Koch Go/Go Ed Koch Go.” Sir Dash being the tall one looks in the back seat and spots three foreign royal objects and leans over and scoops them up. He can’t believe his eyes and tells the other two “BOSS we have the genuine articles” and they are Daggers in their scabbards from many years ago. They were the objects raining down on the carriage.

 The beast turns over at the first attempt and Ed Koch guns the Horses and is off from ZERO to FORTY kmph in 40 seconds. His aim is to make it out of the palace gates before they close. The other two utter the famous words of the twin engine pilots “Guru RPM Udau”.

 The royal husband is of the opinion that he has to avenge his honor and so gets into the first car a Bugati, that has the keys in it and commences the chase. He is closing in on Ed Koch and so are the gates. Like a James Bond movie Ed Koch goes through the gates with some paint scrapes. The gate keepers just about shut the gates and jump out of the way when the BUGATI slams into the gates.

 Ed Koch slows down to the legal limit and makes it home. The three divide up the loot and swear on the official secrets act to keep mum. A few days later BHAI JEE meets the trio and tells them that the BUGATI belonged to MYRA and when the ex-husband came up the palace steps he was the recipient of an upper cut and rolled down the royal steps out cold.

 If you visit them today in their homes and see a dagger, you will know how and why it got there.

 The other Marut crowd in the Kahani are in double digits. Folks, please use your noggin and remember them yester years. Happy reading I hope. No disrespect to any actor intended.

 P.S. Myra could not hold a candle to the beautiful Marut better halves

© Copyright Sam Sekhar and Marutfans. All rights reserved. Reproduction or distribution of this article in any form without the express written permission of the author is prohibited.


Advertisements

3 Responses to Sam Sekhar’s KAHANIS FROM THE MARUT HANDI – VII

  1. Eddie D'Silva says:

    I heard about Myra Behan’ drinking episode at Cool Hand Lukes place. What Myra Behan told the hostess, was later, oft repeated at gatherings and went this away……..

    ‘When I drink, I drink like a lady,
    After two I’m under the table and after three I’m under the host.’

    ……………all the guys present played host that day.

  2. Shashi Ramdas says:

    Great story, Sam!!! Bollywood may yet make a film on it!!! It’ll sure be a blockbuster!!!
    That PS was sheer genius!! Diplomacy at its best!!!

  3. Dara says:

    “P.S. Myra could not hold a candle to the beautiful Marut better halves”

    Ahem! ahem! Methinks Samboo is earning some brownies here 🙂

    Persona Grata:

    The GROUP – Samboo Sekhar, Keru (Bobcat and Cheetah again) Eskay and the three worthies in the story who are easily recognisable – Koch Kochar, Bugnait and Suree Rao

    AIR Pilot – Pappu Bakshi

    Cool Hand Luke and his spouse – Vasant Samsi and Sheila

    Bai jee of course needs no introduction she is an institution that one can never forget.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: